


talking to the moon

by someone_worth_racing_for



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Break Up, Daniel and Charles try to bring them together again, Lando and Carlos are just made for each other, M/M, Tumblr request, Will they succeed?, being love sick like hell, finding back to each other, have I ever told you that my followers on Tumblr are simply the best with sending me such requests?, night walks on the beach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:42:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28529397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someone_worth_racing_for/pseuds/someone_worth_racing_for
Summary: Tumblr request:I would have a request where Carlos and Lando are together and really happy. Carlos being the protective one and Lando the insecure one. When Carlos leaves for ferrari, Lando gets mad and they break up. But in the end Daniel gets them back together with Charles as they are both so sad and they are fed up to watch the pining haha. Also Lando races badly after break up so it is affecting him a lot and everyones curious.(I have changed it a bit with Carlos and Lando not breaking up because they had a fight, but I had that one idea for a fanfiction already since such a long time and it just fitted so well to this one - I hope you are not mad about it anonym..)
Relationships: Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr
Comments: 10
Kudos: 55





	talking to the moon

„I will make it work. I promise, I will make it work for us.“ Those had been Carlos’ words the day, he had told his boyfriend about him thinking about signing for Ferrari. The Spaniard would have never done this big decision all on his own, without his boyfriend’s permission. He just needed to know if Lando, his love, the centre of his life, was okay with it, would maybe even support him.

Of course, the younger one was alright with it and of course, he was with him since the very first moment. Lando would never hold his boyfriend up from making his biggest dreams come true. Like always he had his full support, like always he was right next to his side and will help him whenever or wherever the older one will need a helping hand or just him being there for him.

But Lando would lie, if he wouldn’t admit that he was also afraid of this very big and massive change in their lives that will bring Carlos’ move to Ferrari. Of course, the Spaniard got the younger one’s worries, he himself was lightly scared about what their future will bring, but as long as they were together and wanted the same, everything will turn out good in the end.

And with Carlos’ promise, Lando just had to believe him, because his boyfriend always held his promises.

The virus had been very cruel to them, because they weren’t able to see each other for over three months. In between there also had been the announcement of Carlos’ move to Ferrari, it really wasn’t the easiest time for both of them.

Things finally became better, when they were able to see each other again after such a long time. Of course, it was still pretty difficult to hide their secret relationship from everyone, but actually they were already used to it and tried to make the best out of it, like always. It wasn’t easy, but they made it.

Their time at McLaren went by way too quickly and before they could even really fully realize it, their last race together being teammates was over and a new chapter began for both of them.

Even when the world did finally start to slowly rehabilitate from the virus and there were actually no travel restrictions any more, it still felt like a second lock-down for Lando, because once again he barely saw his boyfriend.

Carlos travelled between Spain, Italy and the UK all the time and sometimes so even a few times every week. He did spend a lot of time at the factory in Mugello and he also still needed to fully move into his new flat there. Lando understood that, of course his hard-working boyfriend wanted to be as close to the Ferrari factory and also to his new team as possible, just like it had been with McLaren.

And Carlos also wanted to spend some quality time together with his family back in Spain, before he got into the next plane in the middle of the night to just spend two days together with his boyfriend in the UK.

Carlos had a strict and very tight appointment calendar and also Lando still had to do his job as a Formula One driver. He did also spend a lot of time at the factory, on training and tried to work on his still present weaknesses.

It was sometimes really hard to find at least two days in a row, on which they both hadn’t any appointments or at least some they could handle from Lando’s house, while they tried to spend at least some time together.

Lando had thought, believed, hoped, for it to become better, when the season will finally start again. But even when Carlos and he were at the same places then, sometimes not even one hundred meters away from each other, it actually only became even more difficult for them with not being in the same team any more.

Their only chance to see each other was in the late evenings, when either Carlos or Lando slipped inside his boyfriend’s hotel room. With now not being in the same team any more, didn’t only mean that they weren’t able to spend almost the whole day together or at least see each other, it also meant that they couldn’t go for dinner together so easily. At least not every night, to not be too obvious.

So only the nights did belong to them, if any, and those sometimes not fully, because on some days they still had their appointments until late in the evening and had to slip out of their boyfriend’s rooms even before the sun did rise. Of course only with the requirement to sleep in the same hotel.

And sometimes also the nights didn’t belong to them at all, when Lando fell asleep while waiting for his boyfriend’s message that he was finally finished for today and he will come over now. Because Carlos didn’t have a key card for his hotel room, of course he didn’t get one, why should he anyway, he had to wait for Lando’s answer and when even after over one hour none came, he knew he had to spend the night once again all alone. It just would have been way too obvious, if they would ask to get a key card from their hotel rooms, because still no one knew about their relationship.

So they often had to sleep separated, when there was really no chance for them to spend at least the night together. It did sound wrong, but even when they were so close to each other the whole time long, sometimes they were almost even able to touch each other on the paddock, it was still impossible for them to spend at least some time together. Their longing became bigger and bigger with every minute being so close to each other, but still not able to be in each other’s arms.

It became even worse, when on a Friday evening Carlos’ plane had over two hours delay and he will only be able to finally arrive at Lando’s place shortly after midnight. When the Spaniard finally made it all exhausted, tired and also annoyed through the front to door of his boyfriend’s house, because he at least had a key for it, and had also finally managed it to drag himself upstairs to the bedroom, Lando had once again fallen asleep while waiting for him.

He had faced the door, like he had really, really tried it to keep his eyes opened, because he didn’t want to miss the older one stepping through that door and be finally back by his side, but even when he had tried it so bad, he had still fallen asleep in the end.

Carlos had to smile to himself by that view he got offered. It was a smile of admiration and full love towards the younger one, but also of disappointment and annoyance, because once again Carlos had been too late, even when it wasn’t his own fault at all.

Lando was laying butt naked on top of his king-sized bed and like always he had kicked off the duvet in his sleep. He had obviously plans for when Carlos would have finally arrived at his place, but those plans weren’t relevant any more now. Lando was already asleep and the Spaniard himself was very sleepy as well.

But still all touched about his boyfriend’s cuteness, Carlos smiled down at the sleeping boy’s small body, while he pulled the duvet back up his body so he had it all warm, but at the same time he also felt so bad about the way their weekend together had to start.

In his sleep Lando instantly crawled closer to the older one’s warm, protective body, the second Carlos had laid himself right next to him into bed. The Spaniard pulled him as close against his chest as he could manage, before he also fell asleep after that long, nerve-racking day within seconds.

When Lando woke up pretty early next morning, he best wanted to punch himself for once again falling asleep, while waiting for his boyfriend’s arrive. He had actually wanted to surprise him, with laying all naked inside his bed, so they could start instantly right where they had to stop the last time, when they had got interrupted once again.

Because they were barely able to see each other in the last time, they were also barely able to make love any more. Yes, love not sex. They were only able to have quick, unromantic sex in between their many appointments to satisfy their body’s needs, but not to satisfy their heart’s desire.

And if Lando was serious, he couldn’t even remember the last time they had made love to each, where they have taken their time for it, when nothing else had mattered, just the two of them, without thinking about that in five minutes they already had to give the next damn interview.

Because everything was so complicated lately, because they were constantly under pressure, had to be on three places at the same time and everyone, especially Carlos and Lando themselves, had so many expectations on themselves, they sometimes really even spent their less time together with fighting.

It weren’t serious fights, but just the smallest things caused them to freak out sometimes, because everything just became too much lately. But since a few weeks, they were even too tired and exhausted to fight any more.

Lando couldn’t even remember any more the last time his boyfriend had been at his place in the UK, not even mention their dream to spend some days at Carlos’ place in Spain, Lando had still never been yet, so they were only able to see each other during the race weekends, in the evenings, if anyway.

And then they were so washed out and sleepy, that they normally instantly fell asleep without being able to talk much, share their today’s happening and not even mention to have any kind of body contact at all. That was why Lando also couldn’t remember any more, when he had been that close to his boyfriend the last time, why they were both so excited for this weekend since already such a long time.

They had both really looked forward to finally spend a whole weekend together. They hadn’t made any plans, they just wanted to stay at home, cuddle the whole day long in front of the TV or better they didn’t even leave the bed and made up for all the missing body contact over the last weeks.

Their free weekend would only be interrupted with Lando having an appointment at the MTC, which Andreas had secured him won’t take that long. Carlos wanted to go shopping in the meantime, so they could cook lunch together, something the Spaniard already really looked forward to as well, because he loved it to cook with his boyfriend together and even when Lando wasn’t the most enthusiastic cook, he still did it with pleasure, because he exactly knew what it meant to the older one and what joy he could gift him with it.

Even when last night hadn’t turned out like Lando had wanted it, he was still very optimistic about the new day. Because it was still that early in the morning and Carlos had probably gone to bed pretty late last night and because he was still sleeping that deep and peacefully, Lando slipped unheard out of the bedroom to let him have his rest for some longer.

In the end his appointment at the factory did last longer than he had expected it to be. Actually Lando had wanted to be back home by his boyfriend’s side before midday, but he only made it there in the middle of the afternoon.

Lando’s mood was already on its low because of it, but his heart did drop inside his chest completely, when he opened his front door and saw Carlos sitting on the last stair, his still unpacked suitcases right next to him.

The Spaniard offered him a small, bitter smile, before his lips turned into a thin, sorry line and he couldn’t even look him in the eyes any more. Lando exactly knew what that meant. His boyfriend had once again got one of that annoying calls, where they told him to come back to Italy.

The young Brit exhaled long and loudly, while his shoulders did sink in desperation. “This doesn’t work, right?” Lando dared to ask with a small, sad voice to which Carlos could only node his head in agreement, even when that realization did hurt like a sharp knife deep inside their hearts.

Carlos let his head fall in exhaustion and inhaled sharp inside his lungs. They both had felt it since a longer time that their relationship didn’t make any sense anymore and they were both already too washed out to keep it going like that, but still. Saying it out loud was another thing and caused both of them to feel ill instantly.

Slowly the Spaniard stood up, while tears did already build up and Lando’s eyes started to burn as well. They both knew what that meant, what this right here will be. Their break up, their final goodbye.

Lando’s shoulders did already shake lightly, when Carlos stepped right in front of him, framed his sorrowful face softly between his warm palms, like he had already done so often, before he placed a long, gender kiss onto his forehead.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it work out for us, mi corazon.” Carlos apologized with his lips still so close to his face. Feeling his breathing against the still lightly wet spot on his forehead, where his plump lips had just kissed his skin, caused Lando to shiver badly.

He actually knew it really wasn’t Carlos fault at all, because they still wanted the same thing, it was still their biggest wish to spend some time alone together so badly, they still wanted their relationship to work, but life was cruel sometimes and in their cases life was more than just cruel to them.

But even when Lando exactly knew it wasn’t his boyfrie-, ex-boyfriend’s fault at all about how things had turned out, he still kept quiet and hadn’t told him that it wasn’t on him. He was just too bitter and heart-broken for that at the moment. It was all so unfair.

Lando was so mad at everyone and everything and also a little about Carlos, because he had promised him that day, that he will make it work for them, that everything will stay like it was, that their love will be stronger in the end and they will make it, but this time he didn’t keep his promise. Lando had relied on him, he had trusted him, but Carlos didn’t hold his promise like he had secured him back then.

The Spaniard finally wrapped his arms around the younger one’s small, shaking body and pulled him all lovingly closer for one more time. Both pressed their eyes closed, causing so tears to well over of the corner of their eyes, while they tried to soak up everything from their last closeness. The warmth, each other’s scent, how perfectly their bodies did fit to each other, that deep, beautiful feeling of love and secureness of each other’s arms wrapped around them.

But also this long, tight embrace had finally its end, when they hesitantly pulled apart and like already so many times before, Carlos brushed that single curl out of the younger one’s head, while he looked down at him in awe.

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t love you like I want so badly. It’s not possible any more, they won’t let us.” The Spaniard whispered with a tilted head, while he looked down at him in admiration, being unable to stop those thick tears rolling down his cheeks as well.

Lando had kept quiet the whole time long, not being able to say just one word because of the knot deep inside his throat didn’t let him and also because his lower lip was shaking so badly.

So Carlos finally added with the softest voice of his and he even forced himself to smile at least a little, when he whispered down to Lando, while he was still looking deep into his eyes “Promise me to watch out for yourself, mi corazon.”

That finally broke Lando. He could only nod his head promising any more, because his eyes were boiling over with hot tears and he had to bite down harshly onto his lip to keep it from shaking that much and also to keep those whimpers from leaving his throat.

Carlos knew Lando will be able to take care of himself, he was also sure about that he will make it, also without him, he actually already did so since months, but he didn’t tell him so, because he knew he didn’t want to hear that at the moment.

So the Spaniard only stroked through his favourite brown curls for one last time with a tortured smile himself, before he grabbed his suitcase and said his final goodbye to the love of his life.

Carlos’ whole world stopped to move and new tears started their ways down to his chin, when he heard Lando break down into tears, cries, and sobs the moment he had closed the front door behind himself.

Even when he had wanted to turn around so badly, rush back inside the house to take Lando in his arms and tell him that everything will good again, Carlos still held himself back from doing so, because he knew he once again wouldn’t be able to hold his promise.

To have a secret relationship with another man, who also had to happen to be your teammate, at least it had been that way when they had come together, in the complex world of Formula One, was really impossible, they knew that now. Even when they had first thought to be able to beat them all, to beat the whole world. That they were stronger than all of them together.

But they had been so wrong. They had been really so naïve and stupid to believe so. And not being able to tell their friends or at least their families about it made it all only even worse. They had to admin, that they were wrong the whole time long, that their love wasn’t that strong like they had always believed. It was too late now.

They both came out of it with a broken heart and those wounds won’t heal that quickly, if ever. The Spaniard got that while he was sitting in the taxi on his way to the airport. And the pain became worse and worse the farther away he got from Lando.

* * *

_Three months later_

It was his third bad race in a row. Lando was at his end, with his body, with his nerves and also mentally. He couldn’t any more, he really just couldn’t go on any more. No matter what he did lately, no matter what he tried, if it was on the track, by his training or up to his computer games, nothing wanted to work any more.

Lando couldn’t sleep properly any more, he didn’t have any appetite, had already lost way too much weight and he had been constantly tensed. Whenever someone asked him about what was going on with him, he only bit back all aggressive and didn’t let anyone close. He was also very unfair towards his family, who only meant it good with him, especially his parents, but Lando was so tired of everything. He just wanted to be alone.

The young Brit really didn’t know any more what he should do, he was lost. Everything had gone down, since Carlos had stepped through his front door that day and so also out of his life.

Actually the reason of their break-up had been to make things easier again, for them to calm down and not being tensed and so exhausted all the time, but for Lando it really hadn’t worked. In the end everything became only even worse, even when he hadn’t thought that was possible any more.

At least it turned out that way for him, because for Carlos everything seemed to work since they had broken up. His races were good and stable, nothing to worry here, but Lando was just too distanced to him to tell, if he was really okay. But since he knew his ex-boyfriend pretty well and he exactly knew how good he had always been able to handle such difficult situations, if it even was one for him, and how good he always managed it to hide his true feelings, Lando knew he was alright.

In contrast to him. Yes, even when in the end their relationship hadn’t worked any more like in the beginning when everything was just perfect, Lando only got it how much love and comfort he had still received from the Spaniard, even in the less time they were able to see each other.

It had still always been enough for Lando to go on, to get through the day. He was sure about that even if he would get the less possible love and affection from Carlos, it would have been enough for him, but now it was all gone and he was alone.

Lando did miss him like hell, all the time but the worst it were in the moments he knew they could have spent some time together. When he was laying all alone in his hotel room bed in the end of the day, when he was alone at him and tried to remember that one delicious lunch Carlos and he had once cooked together and he should have paid more attention to the recipe and how the meal was getting done, instead of his good-looking boyfriend. And also when he thought about the coming summer break.

Since already so many months they had dreamed about spending their holidays in Spain, so Lando could finally see how the older did live. He would have got to know his family and friends, of course Carlos would always only introduce him as his friend and not as his boyfriend, but still. They would have been able to spend so much time together, but now Lando didn’t have any plans at all for the summer break.

He didn’t even want to think about it, because if he was serious he didn’t want to do anything at all. He just wanted to lay in bed and only get up again to finally travel to the next race. Because without Carlos, Lando was nothing and he had also never thought to admit it one day, but he did really miss the time, when he had waited for his boyfriend to finally come to his place all night long to spend at least a few hours together. Because in the end, it was still more time with him, than he got now.

Even when Lando knew, he could call Carlos, talk to him or maybe to even meet to go for a coffee or something like that, he still didn’t do it, because he didn’t want to annoy him with his stupid problems. Because they weren’t together any more, the Spaniard wasn’t his boyfriend anymore and so he also didn’t need to listen to his break downs any more.

But Lando also only couldn’t talk to Carlos any more, he couldn’t talk to anyone about it, because no one knew they had been a couple once. It made everything just even worse, which did finally lead Lando to find himself crying all desperately inside his driver room after another horrible race outside the points for him.

At least he was able to finish the race, he thought to himself bitterly. But he didn’t know which was worse, not being able to finish the race because of a technical issue and not being able to show so what he was able to do, or being able to show it and still ending the race on P14 because his driving skills were that horrible.

Lando only got it how loud his sobs and cries had obviously been, when someone knocked against his door and asked for his permission to come inside. It was Daniel, who pocked his head through his door a few moments later, even when he hadn’t given him an answer, because his swollen throat didn’t let him.

“Hey. Why are you crying like that, mate?” Daniel asked, like he didn’t know the reason of his tears, when he sat right next to him and laid an arm around his shaking shoulders. Lando still wasn’t able to form any words, why he only buried his tear strained face into his teammate’s race suit.

“It’s okay. Everyone has a bad race now and then. You just have some bad luck lately, but I’m sure it will be over soon. No need to cry like that.” Daniel tried to calm him down and Lando really appreciate his try to cheer him up, but those tears actually really weren’t because of today’s race, it had maybe just played a small part, but the real reason of his break-down was the Spaniard a few garages down the pit lane.

“I miss him so much.” The young Brit finally whined out between deep, heart-breaking sobs unwanted. “Who do you miss, mate?” Daniel asked confused in return, trying to catch his eyes while doing so. Lando knew he actually had to keep his mouth latest now shut, but he was too tired for it to go on hiding his feelings any more. He was done, he just needed it to finally bring it over his lips, while he was exactly aware about that someone was listening to him.

“Carlos.” The name of the love of his life finally rolled over his lips and even when it caused Lando goose bumps everywhere on his body, he still closed his eyes in relieve to had finally said it out loud.

He could hear the smile out of Daniel's voice, when he did response surprised and also played offended “Carlos? I didn’t know I am such a bad teammate.” Lando did sniff and breathed through, before he finally pulled his head away from where it had rested against his friend’s shoulder, whipping the still present tears away from his cheeks in the process.

“It’s not that. Carlos was more than just a teammate to me.” Lando told Daniel, without looking him in the eyes. The Aussie was barely serious, but his wide grin quickly faded away when he got it what those words of his younger teammate meant.

“You had a crush on him?” Even when Daniel had asked so all carefully, it still caused Lando to chuckle, thinking about that he maybe could have been able to deal with it, if it would have only been that. Already new tears did burn in his red and swollen eyes, when the younger one shook his head and he finally said out loud those words for the first time

“I didn’t only have a crush on him. I loved him, I still do with my whole heart. We were together, Daniel. We were a couple over one year.”

And even when Lando felt so relieved and freed he hadn’t since such a long time, he still broke down and crashed back into his teammate’s arms, who welcomed him instantly. Daniel moved through the younger one’s curls in an effort to calm him down, while his words were still running through his head.

He really needed a few moments to really understand it all. Lando and Carlos had been a couple, but now obviously weren’t of whatever reason any more. He hadn’t known nor expected this at all, why he was that surprised now, but on the other hand everyone had seen it that the two drivers had something very special together. Daniel only got it now how special their relationship had always been.

And he only got at that moment that no matter what had happened between the two of them, even when he could already imagine that the Spaniard’s move to Ferrari had to do something with it, they needed to become a couple again. Because even when Daniel just got to know about them, he was still one hundred per cent sure about them being the perfect, dream couple.

Still surprised and also perplexed he tried to calm down the young, bitterly crying man in his arms, when he gave himself the promise to bring his two friends together again, no matter what it will cost.

Since a few weeks, Charles had noticed the change by his new teammate. But not because of Carlos’ races, they were actually great and very constant, but on the way he acted the second he took his helmet off, he knew that something was wrong.

No matter what the reason was, the Spaniard was always able to push it away during races, being the professional racer he always was, to only come back and his worries hitting him just even harder, when the whole tension was gone.

“What’s wrong?” The young Monégasque had asked more than just once, but he never got a satisfying answer from his friend in return. Carlos always only shrugged his shoulders and secured him that he was alright and nothing was wrong. But Charles didn’t believe him one word.

It went on that way for way too long, without Carlos telling his friend what did bother him that much, why he looked so sad all the time. He also wasn’t up to spend any time with Charles together any more and have some fun. Carlos only spent most of his free time alone inside his hotel room, it almost seemed like his whole will to live was suddenly gone from one day to the other.

Until Charles had enough, because his new teammate had been way more fun to be with at the beginning of the season. Something massive must have happened to him that caused him to be that thoughtful and reserved since ages and Charles wanted to find out what it was so badly.

He had enough of his behaviour, because they were actually friends and he really wanted to help him, but Carlos didn’t let it happen. So Charles finally invited his teammate over to his place in Mugello, where his actual plan was to get him to drunk, so he will hopefully finally tell him about his worries.

And after the seventh bottle of beer Carlos finally did so, but not only that, he told his teammate everything, his whole heart. Charles had expected much, actually he had already known before, that love was in the play, but he would have never ever expected that.

Carlos told him the whole story that night, while his eyes never got dry the whole time long. He told Charles about the feelings he had carried for Lando already since the first moment he had seen him. He described about how difficult it was for him to hide those strong feelings and act like they were only teammates all the time and he didn’t care for the younger one more than anything.

But in the end all his worries were for nothing, when Lando had told him his feelings for him, which mirrored Carlos’ feelings. Until today the Spaniard was grateful Lando had been braver than him that day to make the first step, because he would have probably never told his friend his feelings for him.

But Lando was that strong and since that day they had been a couple. It was all so new for them, for of them, but they made it together. They went slow first, very slow even, because it literally was for both their first times with another man.

Even when they had kept their relationship secret in front of everyone, also from their friends and families, it had worked and they were over the moon happy. But then there came the offer from Ferrari and everything changed even when Carlos had promised his boyfriend that nothing will change at all.

The big, wide, happy smile Carlos had on his lips the whole time long he had talked about Lando and their relationship, had got replaced instantly with a very sad and desperately expression, but also tears shining in his eyes, in the second he had mentioned Ferrari.

He told Charles what had happened then, how complicated everything became. He told him about their many, unsuccessful tries to spend at least some time together, their fights because everything just became too much for them to handle any more, about how unhappy and upset Lando had been since months and how Carlos tried so desperately to love him the way he deserved it, but failed almost every time.

Latest when the Spaniard told him about the day Lando had come home from his appointment at the MTC and found him sitting there on the stairs, already all ready to leave him again, before they could have even shared one word with each other, tears were rushing down his cheeks.

Charles instantly wrapped his arms around him, when Carlos cried that it was all his fault. He should have tried it harder, he should have been there for his boyfriend, he should have managed his life better, he should have kept his promise. He should have never signed for that damn Ferrari contract.

And the worst of it all, Lando was obviously still mad at him for failing, because since they have broken up, he hadn’t heard one word from the younger one. Carlos really wished for Lando to be all good, he would never wish him anything bad, but he would also really like to know if he missed him the same way as he did miss him every single second.

Of course, the Spaniard had noticed about the younger one’s races hadn’t been that great lately, but he didn’t know if he should try to contact him, to talk to him about it and ask him if everything was alright, because he didn’t know if Lando wanted to hear anything from him after what had happened.

But how bad Carlos missed it to take him into his arms, to take care of him, to secure him that everything will be good again and motivate him. His body was already thrusting for it so badly, because it was his way of being and he exactly knew how bad Lando had always needed his attention and affection.

But maybe he had already found someone else, who satisfied these and maybe also other needs for him. Just by that thought even more tears rolled out of Carlos’ eyes and he began to sniff that heart-breaking way in desperation.

Even when Charles tried it so badly to calm down his teammate that evening, Carlos couldn’t stop any more once he had begun. He had kept those feelings all to himself for way too long. His friend wasn’t able to talk to anyone about it all the time and now that he finally did, the emotions swapped over.

Charles really hated it to see the Spaniard like that, because he knew it wasn’t his fault at all what had happened between the two of them. They had both tried their bests to make their relationship work. It really hadn’t been on them and they did deserve a second chance like no one else did.

And that night the younger one promised himself to help his friend, because he just couldn’t see him like that any more. Lando and Carlos both deserved it to be happy again and in his eyes they were the perfect couple and were just meant for each other.

But Charles couldn’t bring them together on his own. He needed someone’s help.

* * *

_Two weeks later_

To celebrate the first half of the season, even when there wasn’t much for Lando to celebrate about, and also their upcoming summer break, even less for Lando to celebrate here, Daniel had invited him over to his place in Monaco.

Actually Lando really didn’t feel like it, he just wanted to fly back home again and hide inside his house for the rest of the summer, but his teammate had really insisted to it and finally had also talked him into it with being maybe a little too annoyed once again.

The young Brit had landed today around midday in Monaco and after Daniel had picked him up from the airport, they went for lunch and following drove over to his flat, where he will also stay for the next three days.

Since Daniel knew about his feelings towards Carlos, Lando felt even more accepted and also understood in his presence, because the Aussie always tried it to cheer him up whenever he made that one face and he exactly knew he was once again thinking about his ex-boyfriend.

“I don’t want to see that expression any more for the next few days. I want you to have your fun and enjoy it here, because there are so many great things we can do, so many great places we can visit, you actually have no idea what Monaco is able to offer. Or don’t you want to spend some time with your lovely, good-looking teammate?”

Daniel’s try to cheer him up had once again worked, when Lando chuckled because of his statement and he rolled his eyes. He tried, he really tried to enjoy their time together and also have some fun, but since a few months it felt like that this was the maximum of happiness he could reach.

“Alright. So what are your plans for tonight then?” Lando asked with the best smile he could arrange, because he knew how bad Daniel tried it to cheer him up, so he should at least try it to have some fun.

The Aussie told him about his plans to go for dinner in some fine, fancy almost romantically restaurant like he called it, before going to the cinema later and that he should better not wear some of his hoodies for it tonight.

So Lando chose for one of the less decent shirts he had taken with him and that one light grey jeans he had thrown inside his suitcase. Actually Daniel hadn’t promised too much, when they entered the restaurant one hour later.

It was really very pretty and they got offered a great few over the port of Monaco. They obviously had a table in the garden of the restaurant to enjoy the beautiful, warm July night, while Lando followed the older one outside.

He first hadn’t noticed it with his whole attention being on the breath-taking view and the enchanting fairy lights in the tress around them, only when Daniel stopped right in front of him and Lando had almost crashed into his back, he stopped to daydream and got it to which table his teammate had leaded them and even more important who was sitting there.

Carlos looked the same way back at him, like Lando eyed him all surprised and in shock. Their eyes were widened almost painfully and their moths fell opened, when they got it who was there right in front of their eyes, so reachable like they weren’t since months.

The Spaniard, sitting right next to Charles, was the first one who came back to his senses, when he suddenly stood up, almost kicking his chair to the ground during the process. “Lando.” He whispered all overjoyed with suddenly so sparkling eyes that the fairy lights around them could get jealous.

Of course, Carlos went over to greet Lando first, who still only stood there in shock and watched the happenings in front of him all helpless and overwhelmed. “Hey.” The Spaniard greeted him softly with that one gorgeous smile of his.

“I didn’t know you will come along with Daniel. It’s so great to see you again.” Carlos really had to hold himself back from calling the younger one _mi corazon_ like he had always done, but he was really truly happy to see him here all unexpected.

But Lando’s trance still hadn’t stopped, it only got even worse, when his ex-boyfriend leaned down to place a tender kiss onto his warm cheek. It was maybe a force of habit, but also simply Carlos’ sweet, charming way, but still it caused both of them to stop their tracks for a few moments and look deep into each other’s eyes, after he had pulled away and the tip of their noses had almost touched with being so close to each other.

“Hey, I’m also still here, mate.” Daniel finally broke the connection between the two of them, after Charles and he had shared a look and they had got the lightly present tension between their friends. It was once again Carlos, who came back to life sooner, when he finally looked over to Daniel and he also smiled at his friend in return.

“Of course. Hey to you as well, mate. How are you doing?” The Spaniard greeted his successor all warmly, before they shared some words. Lando could still only watch them all clueless about what was going on here, still not getting it how he got into this situation. Why they did meet Carlos and Charles here in a restaurant somewhere in Monaco. That just couldn’t be a coincidence, right?

And Charles finally confirmed his guess, when he stormed over to his side and quickly pulled him into a tight hug to greet him. “Seems like our surprise was successful.” The young Monégasque raved all happily about his friend’s reactions.

Finally, also Lando come back to the ground of reality, when he asked the Ferrari driver still a little confused “Yours and Carlos’ surprise?” While Daniel and Carlos still had some small talk, Charles shook his head and explained with a wide grin to him “No, Daniel’s and mine, you dummy.”

Lando once again didn’t know what he should say, because not only Daniel knew about Carlos and his backstory, but obviously also Charles now and even when it had turned out good in the end that his teammate knew about his secret, Lando still felt uncomfortable with that Charles also knew about it now.

They had never told anyone about their relationship for so long and now already two people knew about it and even when they were their friends, Lando didn’t know how to handle this.

When Daniel and Charles finally took places opposite each other, Carlos’ and Lando’s eyes met once again for a brief moment, before the older one, like the gentlemen he always was, offered his ex-boyfriend the chair right next to Daniel.

The young Brit hesitated first, being once again lost in Carlos’ so familiar, dark chocolate eyes, before he finally took place on the offered seat as well. Their eyes were instantly on each other again, when Carlos took place right next to Charles and this time they didn’t stop their connection any more. No one was able to get their attention away, while they stared all overwhelmed at each other.

They hadn’t been that close to each other since that one day already over three months ago. Carlos hadn’t been able to look right into those gorgeous, clear eyes for what really felt like a whole eternity. Lando was so close to him, actually really reachable this time, but still he kept his hands all by himself and only took him in with his eyes, while his lips were still parted because of his appearance.

Also Lando didn’t know how he should handle this situation. He was simply overwhelmed with all those feelings rushing through his body at the moment. He had best wanted to jump right into the Spaniard’s arm and claim his plump lips with his own finally again, kissing him senseless, telling him how damn much he had missed him and how bad he still loved him, maybe even more than before their break up.

But instead he kept sitting still, unable to move just one limp. All he could do was blinking ever few seconds, but he already missed Carlos again the brief moment he couldn’t see him while blinking. Yeah, maybe it was a little exaggerated, but it was the truth. How had he made it that far without him, without breaking apart completely?

“Guys?!” They could hear Charles’ voice, but only from far away and they both didn’t give any attention at all to him, while still being busy to take each other in, after so many days not being able to see each other that close.

“Lando! Carlos!” Daniel tried his luck now to stop their connection, when he called their names in a little sharper tone. The Spaniard was once again the first one, who stopped their eye contact, when he lightly shook his head and looked over to the Aussie.

Heavy-hearted Lando looked down at the fingers on his lap, while he could feel his cheeks blush. Why did their friends have to bring them in such a situation? How should he ever get over Carlos, when they arranged such an evening? It was unfair and made everything just even more difficult, for both of them.

“Yeah? I’m sorry, what have you just said?” Carlos informed himself, still with his thoughts by the young Brit sitting opposite him and not at their conversation at all. It caused Daniel and Charles to smile at each other and following also to the two ex-McLaren drivers, who both had lightly reddened cheeks and looked so thrown out of their daydreams.

“We are just sitting here for two minutes and you both already can’t take your eyes away from each other.” Daniel announced with one of his bright smiles and his eyebrows wiggling. Not only Lando’s, but also Carlos’ cheeks blushed in a very deep red then.

Either the young Brit wanted to get away from here as quickly as possible or find himself in Carlos’ arms in the next second. There was nothing in between. He really couldn’t sit all evening opposite the man he loved with his whole heart and not being able to reach out for him. Lando just couldn’t do that, he already felt sick while just thinking about it.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this. I have to go.” He finally whispered, feeling how tighter and tighter his throat got with every breath, like this situation right here was a choke snake around his neck.

Even without looking up, he could feel Carlos’ eyes burning instantly into his skin, being already all worried about his being, but maybe also a little disappointed that he wanted to get away from here as fast as possible.

But what Lando didn’t know at that moment was that Carlos was next to that, also very sorry, because he knew it was his fault that he wasn’t feeling good and couldn’t handle the situation, even after already so much time had passed. Lando still hadn’t forgiven him for failing and once again Carlos hated himself so much for not being able to keep his promise.

“No, no, mate. You won’t go anywhere. You will be a good boy and first listen to what we have to tell the two of you.” Daniel held Lando back from getting up and running away as fast as possible. The young Brit didn’t look that happy about it, almost tortured, but he still kept sitting still, also because he was afraid about getting the urge to throw up, if he will move that quickly once again.

“Well.” Charles began a little softer and more compassionate than Daniel, when he tried to explain them all carefully “Since Daniel and I know why you are both so down and sad lately and we really can’t see the two of you like that any more, we kind of wanted to give you a little shove into the right direction with this evening.”

Because Carlos was always the smarter one between the two of them, he had already got it latest now all on his own, that not only his teammate, but also Lando’s new teammate knew about what had happened to them. And because Lando was still unable to form any words, it was the Spaniard who tried to explain to their friends “Guys, I know you only mean it good and it’s also really nice from you, but it’s not that easy like you think it is.”

Lando only dared to look up at the other two’s reactions through his lashes, because he was feeling the same way as Carlos. But Daniel and Charles didn’t look disappointed like he had expected them to be, instead they both shook their heads, before Daniel told them and he could still hear the excitement out of his voice

“It’s not a try to bring the two of you together again. After what we have heard it’s really not that easy, but we just want to see the two of you happy again, like Charles has already said. And we know you can both only be happy again, if you will see each other and spend some time together again. The two of you know better than we do, that you really need each other. Why don’t you sort things out and become friends? It really doesn’t have to be boyfriends or nothing at all.”

Carlos wanted to say something, he probably didn’t want to contradict them, because he exactly knew how right their friends were, but he still closed his mouth again in the end and looked over to Lando, whose eyes were already fixed on him again.

The younger one gifted him a small smile, telling him so that his body was indeed screaming for at least some of his attention and affection, if Carlos was willing to give him so already now. But Lando knew his ex-boyfriend and he also knew that Carlos had probably got it in the second he had seen him again, that he wasn’t doing that well without him.

Finally, Charles began to speech again, when he offered them a very promising suggestion, which they really couldn’t reject. “Why don’t you just forget about what has happened between the two of you for one night and just enjoy each other’s company, without thinking about tomorrow. I think it will do you both very good. You need it to go on.”

Carlos and Lando could only agree to that with nodding their heads and even when they both knew that this evening will be good for them, they still knew that tomorrow will be like hell, when the reality will hit them again. But tomorrow was tomorrow and right now at this moment they really didn’t want to think about what will come.

“Okay.” Carlos eventually also agreed verbal to their suggestion and when also finally Lando’s lips formed a smile as well, they knew the younger one was into it as well.

Happy about their successful try to gift their friend’s a nice evening, Charles and Daniel smiled at each other, before the Aussie announced “Perfect, you idiots. Then I hope you will enjoy your dinner. The bill is on us by the way, but don’t you dare to take advance of it, I warn you.”

“You won’t join us?” Lando asked surprised and also a little panic was audible in his voice, while he and Carlos watched them already standing up. “No, this evening only belongs to you, guys. We have a table inside, so don’t worry. Just enjoy your evening, I try to do as well with this dork right here joining me.” Charles explained to them with a wink.

And before they could respond anything, Daniel and Charles already made their way inside the restaurant and the ex-boyfriends were all alone. A thick, uncomfortable silence followed, while Lando once again stared down at his shaking fingers on his lap, while Carlos eyed him lightly concerned.

“Are you okay with this? If you want I can go, so you can join Daniel and Charles. I would understand it.” The older one suggested well-meant, even when it would have still hurt him. Instantly Lando’s eyes snapped up at his ex-boyfriend’s, before he quickly said to calm down his nerves “No, I would really like to have dinner with you together. But.. I don’t know. It’s just kinda..”

“..strange. I know.” Carlos ended his friend’s sentence, because he felt the exact same way. Lando could only node his head in agreement to that, because like always the older one exactly knew how he felt. But still Lando kept quiet and only cleared his throat, because he didn’t know what to say.

All carefully, because Carlos didn’t know how he will react to it and the very last thing he wanted tonight was to shrug him away, he slowly reached out to take his ex-boyfriend’s shaking and also lightly sweating hand tightly into his to squeeze it softly in affection.

By the touch Lando looked up at the older one through his lashes and even if he had wanted to, he still couldn’t stop himself from smiling like a children on Christmas morning by the body contact he had lingered for already so long.

Lovingly the Spaniard stroked with his thumb over the back of his fingers, still holding his hand all tightly and Lando giggled like a teenager in love, when Carlos winked at him. He instantly felt like back then at the beginning of their relationship, when everything was still so new and exciting for them and they hadn’t wasted just one thought about what the future might bring, when they had no problems at all.

But the reality came right back, when Carlos whispered sincerely “I have missed you so much.” Even without wanting it, tears began to fall down Lando’s cheeks instantly, even when he hadn’t known before, that his eyes were already watering that much.

“Oh, Lando. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you sad.” Carlos apologized, while he patted the back of his hand to calm down his nerves. At that moment the waitress came to their table to ask what they would like to drink.

“Oh, sir. Do you need a tissue?” The kind woman asked, when she saw Lando’s tears and Carlos effort to comfort him. Lando himself didn’t know why he was suddenly crying. He was actually smiling at Carlos and now also at the waitress, but still he couldn’t stop those thick tears running down the whole way to his chin.

“That’s really nice, but no, thank you. I’m alright. Just got a little emotional. It will be over in a few moments.” Lando explained, while he tried to whip his tears away and show both of them one of his cutest smiles. The woman seemed to be relieved and satisfied with his answer and also his smile, before she took their order.

“I’m sorry, it’s already over again. It’s just that I really haven’t expected it to see you tonight. If I had known, I would have dressed better and I would have also prepared for it, but.. I have also missed you so much.” Lando couldn’t stop his train of words any more once he had started and new tears did already glisten in his eyes again, when Carlos quickly reached out for his hands to take both of them into his to prevent him from breaking down into tears once again.

“Lando, hey. It’s okay. Daniel and Charles are right. We shouldn’t think about what has been and what will be tomorrow, let us just live here at this moment and enjoy it as much as we can. And by the way, I think you look stunning tonight.”

Even after already such a long time and probably thousands of compliments, Lando still blushed badly and rolled his eyes, because he couldn’t help himself in another way. But hell, it did feel so good to finally get such a compliment again and then even from Carlos, who was the most gorgeous man on this planet for the younger one.

“Okay, I have time. Let us make this night unforgettable.” Lando agreed, his tears already forgotten again, instead he beamed back at Carlos over the candlelight, which caused the same happy and excitement expression on his face.

And so they finally did. They did enjoy every moment of their dinner and didn’t think one second about what had been and what might be. They talked about god and the world, about everything that came to their minds and it was just great. Their dinner was delicious, Lando couldn’t remember when he had eaten that much in just such a short time the last time.

And he also couldn’t remember when he had smiled and laughed that much in just one evening. Carlos had really managed it to make Lando forget about all their problems, fears and worries for at least a few hours.

They were holding hands during the whole dinner, not letting go for just one moment. Also their legs were knotted into each other under the table and actually they really hadn’t noticed what was going on around them, because they only had eyes for each other. This evening was perfect and exactly what both of them had needed so urgently to go on.

But also this dinner came to its end, when after they had shared a big dessert together and their glasses were empty, they both knew it was time to go. From their places they could see Daniel and Charles through the window, they both had obviously also already ended their dinner and just chatted with each other.

“Are you already ready for the cinema or do you still need some time to recover after this colossal dinner?” Carlos asked well-meant, still eyeing the younger one in amusement, because he was shortly before exploring.

“I don’t know if I can take any popcorn at the moment, if I’m serious.” He told him, while he stroked over his way too full belly. The older one laughed out about his statement, before he suggested, even when he already knew the answer to it with knowing Lando already way too well “You really don’t have to eat any popcorns at all at the cinema, you know?”

“What? Going to the cinema without eating any popcorn? I didn’t know if that was even possible. Oh, no. Either popcorn and cinema or no cinema at all.” Carlos chuckled, it once again showed him how much he had really missed the younger one over the last few months. “Alright, but what else do you have in mind then for the rest of our evening?”

Lando first shrugged with his shoulders, before he finally suggested all carefully through his lashes “How about a walk on the beach?” Like always Carlos could never deny him any wish and especially not this one, because he probably liked that idea as much as Lando did.

“Sounds great to me.” The Spaniard told him sincerely, while winking over the candlelight at him, before he brought his hand closer to his lips to kiss the back of his fingers over the table, which caused Lando once again to blush badly.

Still hand in hand they stood up and made their way inside to their friends, who both began to shine over their ears, when they say them holding hands like that. “Lando, right here has maybe eaten at a little too much, so we thought to skip the cinema and go for a walk on the beach. Do you want to join us?”

To their surprise, Daniel and Charles both quickly shook their heads and rejected their offer. Because they actually still wanted to go to the cinema and they also wanted them to spend some more time alone together.

So all alone, Lando and Carlos went hand in hand down the streets of Monaco, till the wide, endless ocean appeared right in front of them. Their whole walk to here they hadn’t spoken one word, because words weren’t necessary. They just enjoyed each other’s company and having each other finally so close again.

The still warm night was perfect for a walk at the beach and after they have taken off their shoes, they followed the endless beach to wherever it will lead them. To hear the waves next to them was such a calming sound, while everything else around them was silent and it was only the two of them here.

They were still quiet, until Lando wrapped himself around Carlos’ arm onto which hand he was still holding onto all tightly and he beamed up at him, brighter than all those stars and the moon above them together.

“Thank you for this evening.” Lando whispered so close to the Spaniard’s ear that it caused goose bumps to break free over his skin. “Daniel and Charles arranged that, but it was really a very nice evening with you, mi corazon.”

The last words had rolled over Carlos’ lip without him being able to hold them back. It was a force of habit, about which not only he himself, but also Lando had felt sad for one quick moment, but only till he leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

“I have missed being called like that from you.” The young Brit purred, being lost in all those moments Carlos had ever called him so. “I have also missed calling you like that. You can’t even imagine how much.”

“No, I can. And I really wish you could still call me like that.” Lando sighted broken-hearted, before he closed his eyes to hold in those tears already waving inside his eyes. He began to panic for one quick moment, when Carlos freed his arm from his tight grip, but only to lay his arm around his shoulders and pull him into his side.

To finally be able to inhale his scent and perfume deep inside his lungs again, caused Lando’s heart to flutter and he felt home instantly between those strong arms of the man he trusted the most. Also Carlos buried his nose deep inside those so familiar, cute curls he adored so much to take in his unique scent.

“Can I ask you something, mi corazon?” The older one whispered into the night, his voice did suddenly sound so tensed and also saddened, before he even said out loud his question. “Sure.” And even though he had Lando’s permission now, the Spaniard still hesitated.

“You don’t have to answer me, if you don’t want, because you really don’t owe me an answer at all, because we are not together any more, but.. I just can’t stop thinking about it since I have got through that door back then.” Carlos had finally found enough courage, before he added with a lightly tortured and hurt voice “Have you met someone in the meantime? You don’t have to tell me anything, like who it is, but I would really like to know if he treats you well, because it would really make my nights maybe a little more restful in the future.”

Lando could understand his ex-boyfriend’s question, he really could and he also knew how he felt with just thinking about it, because he felt the exact same way. He knew that someone so good-looking and having such a golden, charming heart like Carlos had, won’t be alone for too long. He would easily find a replacement for him, he was sure about that.

“There has been that one guy, when I was with Max together on the after race party in Monaco, but.. I just couldn’t do it. I only saw you in front of me the whole time long and that that guy really couldn’t keep up with you, even when he still tried it so hard. I couldn’t because I was thinking about you, I’m still only thinking about you all the time. No, there hasn’t been anyone.”

Probably in relief, Carlos pulled the younger one even closer into his side and placed a long kiss against his hairline. Carlos wanted Lando to be happy, he really wished so, but just the thought about his boy being in someone else arms made him feel sick instantly and endless jealous. “And you?” It suddenly came from the young man in his arms. “Were you meeting someone in the meantime?”

“No. No, I could never do that, because I exactly know that no one would ever come just close to you, mi corazon. There is only talented, young man on this planet I would like to have in my arms.” And to emphasize so even more that Lando was meant with that, the Spaniard pulled him one time closer and rubbed with his warm, soft palm over his upper arms and caused Lando so to smile in comfort.

They made some steps through the silent night, trying to process what they had just told each other and what it meant. Carlos then remembered about him asking Lando earlier by their dinner about his being and like he had already expected, the younger one had just shrugged his shoulders and told him that he was alright. And like Lando had lied to him, also Carlos had lied, when he answered Lando as well, that he was good.

“How are you really feeling, mi corazon?” Carlos’ question did hang in the air and this time the younger one knew he couldn’t lie at him so easily. Because it had no sense with Carlos just always exactly knowing when he was lying. 

“If I’m serious..” Lando started, before he did need another deep breath to go on “..I feel horrible. Nothing seems to work any more, no matter what I do since you are gone. I’m so tensed and nervous the whole time and whenever someone asks me what’s wrong I completely freak out, also by my family. I can’t eat and sleep properly anymore and I miss you every damn second since you are gone.”

Lando had actually also wanted to ask Carlos how the last few months had been for him, but he couldn’t go on any more, when his voice broke and he tried to swallow down his tears. They had actually wanted to enjoy this evening right here, with being together again since such a long time.

“Lando. Mi corazon, please don’t cry.” The Spaniard pleaded, after he had stopped them both and had taken his face between his palms. “I’m not crying, at least I’m trying so.” His statement caused them both to smile, even when it was a bitter smile.

“I’m sorry about what you had to get through because of me. I’m so sorry for not being able to keep my promise. Believe me, I probably hate myself more because of it than you hate me.” Carlos affirmed, while he looked that sorry way down at him and caused so a shiver to run down his spine.

Only then Lando remembered about that he had never told the older one about that the whole mess was really not his entirely fault or any of his fault at all. He had been so upset, disappointed and yes also angry, all together a complete idiot, that he had never told the Spaniard so and he had to live with that thought that it was only on him, that their break up was only his own fault during the last months.

“Oh, Carlos.” The young Brit whispered and quickly took his hand all tight into his, when he tried to calm him down with telling him the truth “You know, it was never your fault at all that it hasn’t worked out. You have given your very best all the time, but it just shouldn’t have been. There was something you couldn’t control, but I know you have always given your very best, all the time, you have tried it so hard. And if there should really be some things being on you, there are at least as much my fault as well. Please, stop taking all the blame on you, when it really wasn’t like that. We were both powerless about it, even when we have given our bests.”

For the first time that evening, Lando had to watch how Carlos’ eyes began to glisten and he bit down onto his lip to hold back his tears. Instead, he did lean his forehead against Lando’s and they both closed their eyes to let the just said sink in.

The younger one could exactly feel his breath so close against his nose, when Carlos whispered into the night “I have wanted to give you a good life, I have wanted to adore you every second, I have wanted to love you like you deserve it. I have really tried.”

“I know, but you haven’t only tried it, Carlos, you have even made it. I won’t ever find someone like you in my life again, someone who will treat me the same way as you did, someone that makes me feel so protected and loved like in your arms.”

Latest now, tears were running down their cheeks, while they looked deep into each other’s eyes. “I should have never signed that damn contract. We were happy, so happy and I destroyed everything because I couldn’t get enough. In the end, it is still on me, but I can’t live without you any more, mi corazon.”

“You really didn’t destroy anything, Carlos. You only tried to follow your dreams, there is really nothing wrong about it. You did nothing wrong.” Lando tried to secure him, even when his shoulders were shaking under his following deep sobs and even when he was still standing on Carlos’ side, when he was still supporting his decision, he also still wished that everything would have stayed like it had been. Where would they be right now, if they would both still be both at McLaren?

They would pretty sure be together as well at the moment, but not with tears rushing down their faces. They would be happy, looking forward to their summer break. Maybe they would already be in Spain at Carlos’ place and Lando finally had got to meet his dog. Maybe they had already told their families about their relationship and they had their full support and didn’t need to hide any more, at least as long as they were at home.

But the thought that they won’t ever find out so, caused Lando’s already broken heart to hurt even more. Nothing will ever be like before any more. The time they had had been great as long as it had last, but it was over now, actually already since a longer time.

By those thoughts running through his head, Lando had sunk his head towards the ground, but when Carlos lifted his chin with his index finger, he didn’t have another choice then to look right back into those eyes he trusted the most.

“Let us go away, Lando. Let us leave it all behind and just get away from here, only you and me. What do you say? I can’t go on without you any more. I need you more than anything else. No Ferrari contract will ever be able to make me happy again. I just need you and nothing else. Please.”

Lando had never seen Carlos like that, it only showed him how desperately he really was with suggesting something like that. “Carlos. We can’t run away so easily. You know that.” It did hurt and even when it were his own words, Lando still also didn’t want to accept it that they weren’t allowed to get their happy end.

“Can I at least kiss your lips for one last time?” The Spaniard whispered heart-broken against his tear strained skin and who was he to deny the older this wish, also because he was longing as bad to finally feel those perfect shaped lips against his for one more time as Carlos was for his. Wildly agreeing, Lando nodded his head, while his eyes already flipped between Carlos’ beautiful, dark eyes and full lips.

And then their bodies were once again after such a long, when their lips finally met and they melted away under the feeling of pure love and admiration. Lando wrapped his arms all tightly around Carlos’ well-trained neck to pull him even closer to get the whole taste of him.

One of his hands, the Spaniard had buried deep inside his curls to guide him, so he could kiss him even deeper and get better access to kiss his lips all soft, while he pressed him to his body with his palm against his small back, like he wasn’t ready to ever let him go again.

Lando even got on his tiptoes, to get the maximum out of their kiss, because he knew it will be their last one and he also still wasn’t willing to let that man ever go again. But at one point they still had to, because they were running out of air, even when Lando couldn’t imagine a sweeter death than dying in Carlos’ arms, with his tender lips still pressed against his own.

Both breathless, they pressed their foreheads once again against each other, but even when their lips weren’t connected any more, they still didn’t even think about letting go off each other. It just felt too good, even after all this time. Maybe just because after all this time.

“I will make it work, mi corazon. I just can’t live without you anymore and I also don’t want to. This time I will make it work, I promise. I will do everything that stands under my control and even more to make our relationship work. I don’t give a damn about what the other think any more, I just really don’t care. I only want you and when this means to break my contact with Ferrari then I will do it, because you are so much more important to me, mi corazon. I promise, I really promise this time. You will see.”

Lando didn’t know from where Carlos had the euphoria suddenly, probably because of the breath-taking kiss they had just shared, which also sadly happened to be their last one forever, but he really couldn’t believe him any more this time. He couldn’t trust him like that a second time, because Lando already knew now that Carlos once again won’t be able to hold his promise, even if he smiled at him so convincingly.

“Carlos.” He softly interrupted his train of words, because it did already hurt to just hear those words he knew he won’t ever be able to hold. “We both know you can’t keep this promise, no matter how hard you will try it.” Lando brought him from being over the moon back to the ground of reality in just one second.

Of course, he knew that the younger one was right, but still he would have really given everything to be right next to his side again, for the rest of his life. “Yeah, you are right. I’m sorry. But I will still try to be back by your side whenever you will need me, as a friend. If I can’t have you as my boyfriend, I at least still need you close to me or I will give up.”

“No, Carlos. Wait.” Lando stopped him, just when the older one had wanted to pull away from their embrace. “I didn’t mean it like that. I have just tried to say, that you won’t be able to hold that promise all on your own. It’s not always everything on you. There is also me. We both need to give that promise to each other, not only you alone. _Together_ , the two of us, we will make it and now we also have Daniel and Charles on our sides, who know about us. I’m totally aware about that it won’t get any easier, but like you have already said, I just can’t live without you any more. I need you and I also don’t care about what the other will say any more, but my life isn’t worth living for any more without you. And when now I don’t know how, I’m still sure about that we will make it. _Together_.”

Overwhelmed and totally taken by surprised, because the Spaniard had thought that this was really their end now, he only blinked down at the younger one all perplexed and in shock. “You really mean that serious, mi corazon? You really think we will be able to make it?”

Wildly agreeing Lando nodded his head, before he whispered into the night with his eyes filled with love and his lips formed into a happy smile “I’m not only thinking so, Carlos, I even promise you this. Our love will be stronger, it already was all the time.”

And without any warnings, the Spaniard pulled his arms quickly around the young Brit’s small body, pulled him against his chest and began to rotate, till even Lando’s feet left the ground and he got thrown around like a little doll, while Carlos couldn’t believe his luck.

They both giggled into the night, while Carlos couldn’t stop to dance around the beach, while he still carried his boyfriend in his arms. At one point Lando crossed his arms behind the Spaniard’s neck and hugged his belly with his legs, like he had already done so often, before they connected their lips for another long, passionate kiss.

“I love you so much.” Lando whispered, after Carlos had let him back on the sand and he looked up at him like the biggest treasure he was for the younger one. “I also love you so much, mi corazon. Something like that won’t ever happen to us again. And I don’t even need to promise you so, because you exactly know it yourself. I won’t ever give up and I also won’t ever let you go.”

From a safe distance and using some bushes as their hiding places, Daniel and Charles had watched their friends the whole time long, like they had already done so back at the restaurant. When they have seen the two of them all overjoyed like that, they knew even without hearing their voices, that they gave their relationship another chance.

Daniel and Charles really had to hold themselves back to not run over to their friends and join them dancing around the beach, because that moment did only belong to them and they had kept an eye on them for already too long anyway. So they only high fived, because of their successful plan, before they finally left the couple alone, especially when they made out under the moon once again.

Charles let over Carlos and Lando his flat, while he went over to Daniel’s place over the night, because they were sure about that the two of them had to talk a lot and they also needed to catch up on their missing body contact over the last few months.

The four of them finally met for brunch in the late morning and both, Carlos and Lando, seemed to be like two different people compared to yesterday. They maybe seemed a little tired because of the less sleep they had got last night, but they were also finally happy again and still overjoyed and totally in love with each other like on the very first day. They couldn’t take their hands away from each other and they also couldn’t stop themselves with beaming at each other that bright, in love drunken way.

The couple told their friends about their plans and how they wanted to make their relationship work this time on that beautiful day in July, before they spend two more days together with their friend in Monaco and Daniel had been right, there were indeed many places worth being seen, especially when you had the man of your dreams next to your side.

Carlos and Lando really used their chance this time. They didn’t spend one minute of the summer break apart from each other. They first went back to the UK to spend two days at the Norris’ farm and finally tell Lando’s family about them being a couple.

When they had enough from the bad weather in the UK, they flow to Spain, where Lando not only finally saw his boyfriend’s house for the first time, but he also met Pinon and together the two of them also told Carlos’ family about them being together.

Things were so much easier and more enjoyable with their families being involved and being so also able to enjoy their full support. They could be themselves around them, they didn’t need to hide any more. It was the best feeling ever. After spending some days with the Spaniard’s family and friends, just the two of them flew for holidays to Madeira.

Back in the UK, Carlos got to meet some of Lando’s closest friends and together they drove over to the MTC to tell Zak and Andreas about their relationship, just to following pack their suitcases once again to fly to Mugello.

Lando also saw his boyfriend’s flat there for the first time and together they also went to the Ferrari factory and inform Binotto and all the other who needed to know about them being a couple and that they had to live with it, if they wanted or not.

In the end, no one had anything against their relationship, even when Ferrari but also McLaren weren’t the happiest about the news, in contrast to their families and friends, but they still accepted it and it made things only even better for them.

They were finally able to official share a hotel room together, to go for dinner every evening and be close to each on the paddock, whenever they wanted, because their team chefs latest couldn’t say anything against their relationship any more, when their performances became better and better with now being an inofficial-offical couple.

They still didn’t want to make their relationship public, but they also didn’t deny it whenever someone asked them about it. They also got the support of their race colleagues and also the respect from most of the interviewers, even more than they would have ever dared to wish for.

And even when they were still separated sometimes, it was still not even half as bad any more, because they knew they will both see each other again soon. Carlos and Lando travelled between Spain, Italy and the UK whenever they were able to together and get the maximum out of their quality time.

If they thought back about it now, they didn’t know any more why they had been so afraid about letting anyone know about their relationship. Sure it had been also pretty nice when no one had known about them being together, it was indeed a great, exciting time, but how things were right now was even better than they had ever dared to dream about.

The promises they had given each other on that beach in Monaco that night had been held this time, because together they did hold onto their shared dream, together they made it, Carlos and Lando could count onto each other, could trust each other and after all it was the most important thing. In the end, they made it. Together. No matter what will come their ways. As long as they were together, everything will turn out good in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> Yay, another OS with waaay too many words..  
> 😅🙈
> 
> If I'm serious, I really enjoyed to write all desperate Carlos this time. He would have really given up everything just to be together with Lando again, because he got it that he really only needed him to be happy.  
> And with Lando also returning the promise this time, it finally really worked out for them and of course also with the great help from Daniel and Charles. 
> 
> I really liked this request a lot, even when my two favourite boys had to get through so much, to finally get their happy end 😊
> 
> I hope that Tumblr anonym is satisfied with how this story has turned out
> 
> Stay safe and believe in love people ❤️


End file.
